Anyone own a BMW car?

If so I have a query. In the owner’s manual, is there a page that goes something like this?

Tips for proper operation of your new BMW car.

Congratulations on buying a BMW car. We have compiled a few pointers to help you get the most out of your new vehicle.
When driving your new BMW do try to disregard other road users at all times.
Do try to cut in like a cunt whenever you can.
Do make sure to allow no more than half a yard stopping distance, especially in heavy moving traffic when the person in front of you is unable to pull into the next lane. BMW’s are equipped with excellent brakes and this will give you a chance to try them out. Also try to remember to aggressively flash your lights. Your new BMW car is equipped with extra blinding xenon headlamps for this purpose.
Always speed up if someone should try to overtake you.
Never allow sufficient gap for motorcycles to pass you in stationary lanes of traffic. Should one try, turn up your BMW’s blaupunkt stereo and pretend he’s not there.

Additional points for owners of M Power cars...

Always race other vehicles away from traffic lights.
Never pull over on motorways. Ever.
Undertake whenever possible.
Do try to wear some sad Formula 1 team related bullshit on every drive.

The reason I ask is.........well you know the reason I ask.....

I think your problem is with company BMW drivers, usually 3 series correct?

and NEVER EVER use their indicators, they hope we all get used to the fact they own the road and have immediate right of way over everyone.

even at the nurburgring they just barge their way through!

to be honest Merc drivers a generally much worse than BMW drivers!

I bet there are no Merc drivers in here

As the owner of 2 BMWs i have to say Audi drivers are the new BMW drivers

I think it would be interesting to see if there is a type of car popular with SD owners?

I dont get cars.....sure if I had loads of cash I would have a nice one, but........ 15 grand for anything half decent?! I could get 2 really good bikes for that with change for bling!

I wanna chop my car in for a van, much more usefull but not good for a first date, well unless they like the matress in the back

Audi drivers are a close second behind Volvo drivers, but yeah I agree Audi is the new BMW. Hopefully, all the kooks who degraded BMW's reputation continue buying Audi.

In Aus it used to be Volvo drivers years ago, but now it's definitely Toyota Camry drivers....any year model, doesn't matter !
They all need to be reamed with a broom handle...bastards!

Here, I would have to say that I cannot pick a particular cage maker who has a customer base that is clueless or arrogant to a fault. Perhaps MBZ in the diesel version has a problem with malfunctioning turn signals. I know this is a seperate subject and I hope I did not interfare, but it may be cell phones that cause my demise. For a state that has hands free laws and text tarriffs in the form of code violations, this State is overun with cell phone abuse.
Use a cell phone and go to jail. I would be willing to bet that cell phones kill more people than hand guns

i have two merc diesels... great cars, not fast but great. However have been tossing up between a clk500, E500, C55, Audi TTS (new shape), and a Cayman S.

after driving mercs (go between brisbane and the NSW border frequently), I wouldn't drive anything else for the long trips (unless upgraded), super comfy/quiet and great stereo.

I do flash people and undertake when the f@ckers wont move out of the overtaking lane though... really annoys me when people sit at or below the speed limit in the high speed lane... idiots.

however on the SD i am much worse and go flat out everywhere... overtake/undertake, give the finger to people who refuse to do anything but slow.

And in australia... volvo drivers are shocking,Toyota camy drivers are people who wish they could afford volvos and drive as poorly (its been a long time that toyota has made a fun car to drive... last would be the MR2GT back in the 90's) and then there is hyundai drivers who wish they could afford a camry and dont want to drive but do.

Jeremy Clarkson once said, "I dont like to cook so I dont, it should be the same with driving". People who are not passionate about riding/driving and think it is just a right are appalling. They dont realise that when you drive/ride, it is the only thing you should be doing... not texting/putting makeup on, reading books (i couldnt believe the last one myself).

These are the people who get into power and think that going fast is so dangerous... because they cant drive without going round corners and minus 5km/h it must be dangerous for everyone and should lower the speed limits...

those F%cktards should just use public transport and leave it to people who actually enjoy driving/riding

I am a 325i sport driver myself and like to think I am the exception to most BMW drivers. Yes I like to hoon it up a bit and may be a little quicker off the lights occasionally but I let loads of people out of side roads etc and am very obliging to most other drivers. The bar stewards that get up my nose are Vauxhall Vectra drivers, nearly all 4x4's and I will go out of my way to block 2@'s in Range rovers who think rules dont apply to them and never thank anyone for letting them out. These are "A" holes