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Ask Bert....

72 posts · Started by Superdan · 15 Jun 2012

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Post 1 by Superdan,

#1
Well Bert as we all know is a sophisticated computer anomolie, his links to posts with in seconds of it appearing, and his searching skills on the forum are second to none, he is a sublime system of engineering almost honda-esque in its execution.

I think we need to test out his skills, as so far I think we have only scratched the surface of the sheer magnitute of his prowess, as a computer, although sent from the future I dont believe he has accrued "emotional state" so obviously he would never create a thread like this to show of his vaingloriousness.

So post up your questions and ask Bert, maybe you want to know what you should have for tea? what shirt you should wear? even the meaning of life.

Image

Post 2 by nampus,

#2
Well, the answer to life the universe and everything is 42
I'll leave the rest of the answers to Bert

Post 3 by tripoddave,

#3
Bert
I have a KTM250EXE-F (with a 280 big bore kit) and a Husky TC250 (enduro conversion).
Should I trade them both in for a KTM350EXE, accept that I'm nearly 50 and should back off a bit and get a Freeride or just sell the Husky and put the money towards the fortune I've spent on making my SD no faster at all?
Thanks

Post 4 by stalker,

#4
BERT

what is a good excuse for not keeping up with the others at crashfest ?

Post 5 by omky756,

#5
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=19604

Let's ask Bert...
+2
WTF..???
Shed some light Bert

Post 6 by Bert,

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Post 7 by Bert,

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Post 8 by Bert,

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Post 9 by Superdan,

#9
Amazing keep up the good work Bert

Post 10 by BASH69,

#10
bert,

how can i evade tax for the rest of my life and not get caught (and living a gypsy/pikey lifestyle isnt an option)

Thanks Bert

Post 11 by tripoddave,

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Post 12 by Linga,

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Post 13 by Stupid Luke,

#13
Bert

How did Dribbleduke survive big school? If he had gone to an english secondary he would have spent 5 years with a wedgie and his head down the toilet. No more pipe dreams but a good look at U bends.

Now that Jim'll fix it is no more is there any way that Freestyler could ever overtake anyone on track?

Has Klincky had a lottery win to fund all his trackdays and blingtastic improvements or is he getting paid to be Rula Lenska's hair double?

Has Gin Reaper forgotten about my need for a R & G crashbung for my motorsickle?

Post 14 by Viking,

#14
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Post 15 by SDNerd,

#15
Why is chicken called chicken but cow is called beef and pig is called pork?

Will my sprocket arrive on Monday so I can go to Oulton?

Post 16 by DribbleDuke,

#16
Bert,

What are the principle differences of the OEM Nissin front brake master cylinders used on 2006-07 GSX-R750s versus those on 2009-11 GSX-R1000s? That is, other than Suzuki's part numbers? Does one exceed the other in terms of performance?

Can you arrange a sizable, long term, no-interest loan for me - say, 40 billion USD? I promise to pay 100% of it back; installments or lump sum - whichever you prefer.

Since they are criminalizing possession and consumption of foie gras in Kalifronistan, could you drive to France, and have some shipped to me?

Is it possible to drink every variety of beer produced in Belgium in one's lifetime?

Do you own a Magic 8-Ball?

I have more questions, but let's see how answers to these turn out.

Thanks!

Post 17 by TLS_Russ,

#17
Where did I put down my duckie?

Post 18 by Stupid Luke,

#18
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Post 19 by Millar,

#19
1. WTF is Prometheus the movie all about?
2. Has Ridley Scott become senile paranoid schizophrenic like George Lucas?
3. Will the Predators show up in the Prometheus sequel and kill everyone off because they are retarded? (please say yes)
4. Will every sci-fi movie from now on have the ubiquitous blah blah/boom boom siren sound in their theme song like that movie Inception?
5. Is Noomie Rapace the same girl in Dead Space: Extraction?

Image

Image

Post 20 by ktmguy,

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Post 21 by jmann,

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Post 22 by MADDOG53,

#22
Why is something that burns the crap out of your mouth like you just eaten a piece of the sun called "chilli"
Is the comparisson life is like a penis: Hard and too short also accurate for me?
If the universe originated out of a black hole why is Africa such a mess?
What are next week winning lotto numbers? (PM me only on this)
Why are other people answering questions in this tread while it is supposed to be Bertcomputer answering?

Post 23 by jambox,

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Post 24 by TLS_Russ,

#24
Bert why cant we have an ignore button

Post 25 by Bert,

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Post 26 by Bert,

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Post 27 by Bert,

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Post 28 by Bert,

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Post 29 by Bert,

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Post 30 by Bert,

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Post 31 by Bert,

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Post 32 by Superdan,

#32

Post 33 by Bert,

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Post 34 by Bert,

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Post 35 by Bert,

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Post 36 by Bert,

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Post 37 by Linga,

#37
I'm suddenly afraid... Very, very afraid....

Post 38 by CEREC1,

#38
Very, my brother says what is an occasional table the rest of the time

Post 39 by Stupid Luke,

#39
I am on another forum trying to list all the women I have shagged. I cant remember them all, do you think it is penile dementure?

Post 40 by Bert,

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Post 41 by Bert,

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Post 42 by Jermo,

#42


Epic thread!

Post 43 by scamb66,

#43
Is Belgium in France?

Post 44 by Bert,

#44
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Post 45 by wizzzard,

#45
Bert,
what kinda ram mount has this gentleman on th tank of his SD ?
He is filming with a harness, but there is a ram mount wich you can see lying on his tank attached with some kind of ram mount

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NS-jai_Rdc

Post 46 by Bert,

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Post 47 by Superdan,

#47
Your all just taking advantage of poor old Bert now

Post 48 by TLS_Russ,

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Post 49 by Bert,

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Post 50 by TLS_Russ,

#50
Yes I could if I was not computer illiterate

Post 51 by CEREC1,

#51
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Post 52 by TLS_Russ,

#52
Bert as you are a computer whizz can you help with this one;

I have a new VPN for working in China now,
Works fine on my Mac in the office, works fine on my Sony laptop with Windows XP Pro, works fine on my IPhone to,
But on my spare Sony laptop with Windows 7, windows keeps telling me the program is not compatible even though it works ok.........

Why and how to get rid of the stupid little flag on the shortcut


most VPNs dont work for long from the same location in China though

Post 53 by Bert,

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Post 54 by jmann,

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Post 55 by CEREC1,

#55
Has Bert really got a mono brow and an orange nose?

Post 56 by CEREC1,

#56
Bert how do I paste in a photo onto a thread? Tried copy and paste, nowt happens
Is it an Apple iPad problem, or me being thick

Post 57 by Bert,

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Post 58 by CEREC1,

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Post 59 by Bert,

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Post 60 by CEREC1,

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Post 61 by SDNerd,

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Post 62 by Davo-Singapore,

#62
Bert. Will my new slipper clutch arrive in time from STM for this weekend on track at Sepang?

Post 63 by SDNerd,

#63
I keep waiting for the Q to Bert that starts with "... my condom broke last night and ___________________________ ?"

Post 64 by DribbleDuke,

#64
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Post 65 by Bert,

#65
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Post 66 by Al3x,

#66
Bert, I'm turning my SDR back to standard as I'm selling it soon. I have a MH Motobox, MH secondary flies and SAS block off plates. My question is....Can I leave the SAS plates and flies on with the standard airbox and exhaust? Will it bugger up the Cat converter? Will it run OK?

I really can't be arsed to put the SAS back on...

Cheer Bert

Post 67 by Bert,

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Post 68 by Colonel_Klinck,

#68
Dont forget to put the standard map back on though. Running Akra map with standard cans means ruined cat

Post 69 by Al3x,

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Post 70 by Colonel_Klinck,

#70
Hmmm has Bert been recalled to Google for a software upgrade? Haven't sen a post from him in a while now.

Post 71 by ktmguy,

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Post 72 by jambox,

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