What havent you done?

OK, so there's a few things going around at the moment about what people haven't done that most others have (or claim to have) and what the popular media tells us we should have done....here are mine, what are yours?

1. I havent done hard drugs
2. I havent seen a Spaghetti western
3. I havent had a proper, angry, adult, full on fight (despite being a Wing Chun black belt).
4. I havent had a threesome (of any kind).
5. I havent parachuted/jumped out of a plane/bungee jumped.
6. I havent read War & Peace/The DaVinci code/John Grisham/Stephen King.
7. I havent been arrested for anything.
8. I havent pulled a proper wheelie on a motorbike (deliberately or accidentally).
9. I havent broken any bones.
10. I havent had a tattoo.

There's probably more but I cant think of them right now, I'm just remembering some of the cool things I have done

Hope Toby doesn't post

Haven't kicked the bucket - yet.

There's still time for everything else.


When it's over, it's over. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Better drink the wine while it's on the table.

It's not what you do that you regret when you're too old (or dead) to do it, it's what you DIDN'T do that you regret.

Unfortunately, good judgement comes from bad experience, which stems from bad judgement......

you can keep your brown starfish where it is thanks!!

Have come close to some nasty scrapes but always managed to dodge the really bad shit.

I've been caught up in gun fire on the streets of L.A. I wasnt the specific target (I hope) but I ran like the fookin wind for cover (post box)!

Come close to some nasty street fights but police/friends/local kebab shop staff have always showed up to back me up resulting in departure of whichever loony was pushing for a fight. I now spend my time learning how to avoid such trouble and deal with it if it becomes unavoidable in a better manner than I would have otherwise. Avoiding a fight is always the better option imho....my ego is not so fragile that it cant cope with talking my way out of it.

And yes, I've never run so fast as when being chased by security Alsations. I'll never forget that industrial estate, it was over 20 years ago but all I can say is thank god they were trained not to leave the compound!! It's hilarious when I remember it but at the time I was flooded with pure adrenalin fuelled fear

Most of my scars are on my face and head so you can all see em. All but one are the result of cycling accidents including a face plant (one of many) in the street smashing out my front teeth as a lad.

There are lots of things I've never done. Some I'm glad about, like getting VD and others not so chuffed, like winning the fuggin lottery. So here's a random selection...
I've never:
1. Seen "The Sound Of Music"
2.Found a cure for cancer.
3. Owned a dog.
4. Or a cat.
5. Been any good at maths.
6. Got my fooking knee down, no matter how hard I try, even though I've gone to the edge of the fooking tyre on more than one occassion, no matter what I try, the knee remains fooking meters from the fooking tarmac....holy jasus, tap dancing, fooking christ! I've watched the fooking "how to" guides on You-tube and marvelled as some smug git whizzes round and round a roundabout draggin' his fooking knee and proclaims "it's easy". ...Well not to me it isn't! So yeah, that. I've never got my knee down.
7. Got annoyed about not being able to do something.
8. Voted labour
9. Liked parsnips
10. Had much patience.

The older you get the harder this list is to make. I guess thats a good thing. So keeping with the theme "things others have or everyone claims you should have done", here goes:

1. Have never had kids (I'm 42)
2. Have never been married (honestly though more friends tell me not to do it than to do it)
3. Have never really told off an idiot boss, told him to fook off, and kicked over a desk or pushed over a pile of papers on the way out
4. Have never learned to properly play a musical instrument (guitar in my case, have it, know some chords, can't put together an entire song and sing to save my life).
5. Have never been to Africa
6. Have never found God
7. Have never learned to fly
8. Have never gone up to an absolutely drop dead gorgeous girl and took my chances
9. Have never learned to surf
10. Regarding #9, have never been eaten by a shark

Shade, get your list down to 9 and see Fist Full of Dollars, For A Few Dollars More, and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

I haven't:

1. broken the 2min lap at Kyalami (yet).
2. been arrested.
3. been shot or stabbed on purpose.
4. gotten Smurfette to dress up in all sorts of dodgy outfits (yet).
5. jumped out of a plane yet.
6. done any drugs. And won't.
7. been able to ride my SD and not break the speed limit.
8. fitted my number plate to the SD.
9. tried to fly by jumping off the 2nd floor, since I was 5.
10. found God (and I want to).

This was harder than I thought, considering I've hardly done anything major since my birth, marrying and impregnating Smurfette (which was pretty awesome, I must say )...

1.) I also have never been arrested
2.) Never done hard drugs
3.) Never stuck with a hobby/pastime exept motorbikes.
4.) Never been unfaithfull
5.) Never done a really good wheelie
6.) Never told my missus I bought a PC3, air filter and steering damper for the sd.
7.) Never had any points on my licence (touch wood)
8.) Never been to alton towers.
9.) Never been that drunk I forgot what I did.
10.) Never been snowboarding (its one of the last things on my to do list).

Oh to add also never read the Davinci code or any other Dan Brown books despite my name being Dan Brown

His books are actually really good... unlike the films.

new one coming out called the missing Key or somat!! on the 15th sept..got my specs out ready for that one!!!

joe...are you from the Middle Ages by chance?