What was your most Epic bike related fail?

This should be fun.

As a few of you know I had an epic paddock stand fail yesterday, bike fell off the front paddock stand. Smashed mirror and clutch pipe, scratched bar end, lever and bent rearset.

All because I didn't use a rear stand as well. An Epic Fail if ever there was one.

I can just about laugh at this now

SO MY QUESTION IS WHAT WAS YOUR MOST EPIC BIKE RELATED FAIL? need something to cheer me up

Ordered BST carbon wheels earlier this year. Thought it was nice of BST to provide me with a extra spacer.

A destroyed swing arm and a destroyed cushdrive convinced me that it was not an EXTRA spacer.

Stupid mistake

Not he most epic ever- but the most recent mistake

The first one that comes to mind, though I am sure not my worst, is a poor front tyre placement.
I parked my FJR on the edge of a short step down from my driveway to the street entrance. The bike wanted to roll forward, and it did, when I was seven feet away. I heard it and could not react swift enough to save it. It is truely amazing how much damage a tip over can do. The saving grace is that the insurance claim was full coverage, no deductible do to me not being phsyically connected to the bike.
My recollection is some where near $1700
I totaled a SV650, turn ten at Laguna Seca, but I'm blaming that on the bike not my failure

I had a small slide on track and scratched it slightly.

All fairly simple, very expensive Fails so far. Keep em coming!

Viking you win so far.

come on Pete, you can't be perfect all the time! what was yours?

fook, most of mine involve throwing a decent bike on the ground for no apparent reason.

Come home on a frosty saturday morning - 3AM in December 96 or 95. I'd been to Chelsea bridge / heston / bar italia with the lads.
Aware that there was salt on the roads I decided to give the 916S a quick hose down with cold water.

After wards went to put the old girl in the garage and lifted the bike off the stand with one hand. Wet grip, wet hand bike just slips out and falls the other way! Luckily, there was a open gate where the tank was, so the bike fell to about 50 degrees and wedged itself against the house wall on it's tail piece.

Some crafty t cut work and the fact the tail piece had a white number board on it meant no-one noticed before I had it re spayed!

In the garages at Snett the same year - after a mini rant at 2 friends telling them that 4 strokes were clumbsy and real riders still used strokers.

Hopped on RS250 - went to kick start her - kick start fell off! Friend fall over laughing, I nearly fell of bike -we were crying we laughed so much.

For the rest of the day, and about the next 3 months come to think of it I bump started it.

About the same time, early one morning about to ride 250 to mallory. I was really jet lagged.

Roll RS out of garage. From right side let her go onto stand. I'd already turned to shut garage and hear crash. Look round bike on side.
Continue to garage and shut door, wondering if I'd actaully put the stand down or not.

Walk to bike, pick it up - jump on and kick start - ride to trackday.

That Aprillia took some abuse!

Oh shit, how can I forget this one. THIS YEAR.

At Lydden I managed to ride off with my rear tyre warmer on. How the fook did I manage to do that?

Great news, the repair guy at HWW tells me there are other people with similar stupidity levels!

(Also big up HWW fast and quality repair service!)

lol. new a man of your experience would have a few stories!

I had an rs250 as a first bike, just awesome. I stalled mine in the middle of a massive roundabout on the a303. Tried to kick it over failed, lost footing and dropped it. No fooker ever stops to help do they?

They ARE the best bikes to throw on the ground though, picking them up is real easy!

Too many to list but if we're talking most clumsy, embarrassing and expensive, low sided a brand new K100RS (I know, but it was an all black limited edition) on the A2 Blackheath roundabout.

The worst/best would have been binning my brand new 996S on the way back from collecting it from the dealer when I hit and crushed the skull of a black cat that threw itself under the front wheel but somehow managed to stay rubber side down.

Yo Viking! Thanks for putting a big o smile on my face.
My bad was letting my pristine 87 GSXR1100 slide off the road near Mt. St. Helens. Making my way home from the flat track race in 92 thru the woods from Mt. Ranier. Down hill with a sharp left. Had the bike leaned way over. Could not use anymore front brake cause frickin winter gloves were too thick to mash thru using the first two fingers and the rest to hang on to the loud handle. No time to un grip to use all digits. Just lean more! Right! Lost the front end. I was so close to the road with my behind no big deal with the git off. Had worst ski craches. then the thought hit me. I am still moving. Sheeeet. There goes my bike over the edges. I am spread eagle on my back trying to scrube speed off anywayposible. I grabbed the small tree branches for all I had. the bike went off the road and landed 50 feet down the ravine and totaled it's self on large rocks. I managed to stay closer to the road. Many other part of cars and bikes littered this corner. I still think the main reason I crashed was back then Mt St Helens was loaded with Motor homes with over filled shitters that leaked on this down hill bumpy ride. A shit skid of a ride on a dry day. That was one nice blue and white rocket.

Rode off with tyre warmer on? Brilliant!

Ok, first ride on my new SD ( the first one). Waiting at the edge of the car park to the flats i used to live in. Turning left, let the clutch out and stall it, down she goes at zero mph. Oil tank meets kerb stone.

Only one witness, a young lady opposite who then has to come and help me pick it up cos iwas such a wuss.

Fucken embarassing!

That plus a coupla crashes at Cadders and hacing to drill ut a titanium pinch bolt over 2 days cos i hadnt copperslipped it. Managed to do it on the bike, through the fork without touching the forks thread though.

2006 V rod VRSCR... 21000... month old... came to a set of lights squeezed the front break and the front wheel locked up... bars went into airbox, bent bars mirror... pride....

Im on the ground the lights went green and some fooker in a car was laughing as he drove off

Great thread.

First ever bike. Yamaha DT 175 (First with Mono shock?) Drove it home in the pouring rain 8 miles on the clock. Next day was dry, so took the day off work. Went out on bike. 4 miles later. Put it over the kerb and through a hedge. Bust my thumb. Took a while to recuperate. Got back, on the busted bike and was determined to master, the off camber corner that had been so lairy the first time.So. Over the kerb and put it through the hole in the hedge I had created the first time.

That was 34 years ago. The hedge did not grow back. Council had to put in a short bit of fencing instead.

Jeez. I could regale you of many of my ridiculous "Solo efforts"

Actually I have to. (Since it is the SD Forum).

When I got my original 2005 SD. I complained to KTM about the problems I was having with it.
So much so.
KTM gave me a new SD. This one was "Sorted" and so smooth.
First day out. I am filtering(Overtaking.) past a load of cars at the traffic lights. When. Lo! Some fooker in a "Box van". stopped to let a woman out of a Petrol Station. Right in front of me. I grabbed a handful of front anchor and did one of the first SD."Stoppies".
I was catapulted over the bonnet of this "Ladies"? Toyota/Vaxhaul/Ford /Whatever? I never even touched the car with my bike
Anyways. Police were called. (Not by me.)
I of course was interviewed/breathalised.
I had to stand in front of my Tax disc. Seeing that it had been transferred from my previous bike and that this one, wasn't even registered!
Result was broken lockstop and dented tank.

That is why. I bought an original "SD carbon tank".

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=73&p=799#p799

Can I still be done for this?

A following Bus driver informed me that it would all be on CCTV. Don't know where though?

As some of you may know I am a recovering R1 addict: the carburetored versions, in fact I've owned 10 of them (so far!)
One of these R1s was a bike I built from a frame and engine.
The bike was really lovely including many trick bits and mods including a later model harris carbon fiber rear which meant no where to strap on luggage.
A group of us went to France and Spain as usual and I used a ratchet strap and some toolbox lining (no slip) to attach a bag to the back of the R1.
As I peeled into a beautiful long left hander in the foothills of the Pyrennes the strap pinged off the bag and the compression machine jams itself between the rear wheel and the swinging arm stopping the rear wheel instantly.
I have a moment where I have my knee on the deck and the bike has reached the lock stop and I know I'm about to high side into France when by some miracle I find myself fishtailing madly instead and about to go head on into the bridge over road (did i mention the bridge?)
Before I meet my doom there is a dull thud and the back tyre ruptures allowing the rear wheel to turn again albeit with a completely deflated rear.
The rest of the corner is completed on the wrong side of the road accompanied by a series of lurid slides.

$26k was spent on a brand new Victory Jackpot. $5 spent on a 6 pack of Miller Lite. I had two. Backed the bike out of the garage to warm it up for a short ride. Parked the bike perpendicular in the driveway, rear tyre only a hair away from the edge of the concrete. Started the bike, walked away, and turned just in time to see it roll backwards causing the sidestand to push the bike over the opposite direction. Scratched the brake lever...lucky.

Had an HD Softail Standard that I would frequently use my friend's dad's garage to bolt on chrome accessories as we all rode and he always had beer. Got a badass Hypercharger intake that looks like a blower scoop from a muscle car with working intake butterflies and all. Installed using stock bolts, not shorter bolts that were included in kit. The longer bolt tightened prematurely, a few beers told me to keep cranking down on it, punched a perfect hole in the bowl of the carburetor. JB weld fixed it right up though.

For these reasons the mini fridge in my garage stays empty and free of beer. And now I ride KTM's and precrashed Hondas.

I was 16 on my very first bike/sports moped Puch VS50 Sports, with two mates also on VS50's (it was the first and only choice at the time) Three abreast at a side road 'T' junction waiting to turn Right...we were revving the nuts off trying to make the most noise as we waited for a gap in the traffic........TWANG .....in a millisecond I am doing a 'Bolt upright wheelie accross road just hanging from the handlebars ......car slams on brakes .....Huge black lines and a bank of smoke ...As I wheelie accross the road ....up the drive of the house opposite and just manage so stop before I run over a bloke minding his own business washing his car .....in his own driveway

Smoke clears .......man (read huge man) from car standing in drive shouting at me..and telling me what he was going to do to me.............It was all to much ..I shouted.........'Do you f*%king think I did that on purpose.....my clutch cable snapped'.....my mates are now crying with laughter ...then the man and the dive owner started laughing

How I missed the cars ....I will never know

Few months afte buying the SD I pull up outside my local deli/cafe. Really fit bird is there and glances over at me. There is me trying to look all cool. Massive fail as i fail to notice the side stand is over a drain and goes straight through the gap. Over goes the bike and the girl sniggers and walks away as I feel like a right tit. SD of course crashed well and zero damage except my ego.

Uhhhhh putting mineral oil in the brake caliper cos I wanted matching blue cylinders, brakes then locked on due to heat build up.

Fooking up the suspension on my SD by changing springs, then not checking the settings on the rear (way off), subsiquently 70+mph highside, then crash again for good measure.

Fooking up the electrics on my dirt bike to make it road legal, as id blown my fuse I repalced it with 15amp breaker box fuse, then watch my brand new exc loom smoke away and melt, had to buy a replacement.

Ummmm thats about it, learn by your mistakes and all that

rode my rd125 all the way over to a mates ,he says something like lets go out for a ride
(read try and keep up with me on roads you dont know)

well i was right on his number plate and this was obviously annoying him

well after a while he over shot a corner
hit a bank
left his bike
and body slammed a high stone wall

yep i was only quarter of a second behind him .

(that wall was really hard)

Buying a Buell, total fail. Sh1t bike & mocked to within an inch (2.54cm) of total humour failure.

Front wheel slipped out coming off M'way in to Maidstone services - someone having kindly dumped several pints of diesel on the same patch of tarmac. My GSX-R750 bounced, expensively, in front of me for around 7metres. No injury.

In 10 years of riding (all year) it's still my only 'off' and reading some of these posts i'm clearly not trying hard enough…

Got wasted one night at the local pub and left the suzuki 1150ef over night.
That was a good idea.
Came with my pick up the next morning to get the thing.
Put the ramp up against the back and take a huge run with the fat bike. At about half way up the ramp snaps in half leaving me with still quite the velocity happenning.
I ended up smashing all the front fairing up and then the bike falls on my leg. Lay there screaming for about 10 seconds until some guys heaved it off of me.
I hated that bike.

As a student (in the 80's) I got a summer holiday at Cosworth, the F1 Racing company. At the time I had Yamaha RD400, and working at an F1 company automatically made me a world class F1 engineer. I re-bored the cylinders , skimmed the head by a couple of mil and headed out to the nearest dual carraige way to test my souped up machine. Within 15 minutes I was doing a ton and the engine seized hard, that was fun

On the same awesome weapon, on a cold and frosty day, I decided the whole factory would benefit from a display of my wheelie skills. 0.5 seconds later I'm sliding across the car park to the applause and laughter of everyone.

Them was good days!

The most motorbike related epic fail I know of happened to a mate of mine, Kev Collins. Back in the day Kev got chased by the plod but left them for dead on his 350LC. Proud of this achievement he rushed indoors, threw his lid on the side and shouted, 'Mum I just burnt off the old bill on the A2'...........................

Only to find two coppers sitting in his living room! You cant outrun a radio Kev.

My own failures on motorcycles, like Klincky's, usually involved women and showing off.

1988. I had a brand new CBR1000, first brand spanking new bike I ever owned. 500 miles old I got it a Laser 4 into 2 into 1 pipe for extra 'look at me' effect..... In fact, I am starting in the middle, let's start with the day I got it.

Picked the bike up from AyeGees at Welling having p/exed my XJ600 I used to commute to work on. The balance of the purchase price came from our joint savings account that was supposed to be for our wedding Some how I have forgotten this and think my girlfriend will be impressed with the bike On the way home I notice how easily the big bike will wheely off the throttle. So I take her out for a spin..and promptly dump her off the back as she wasnt expecting it.

A day or so later I try another wheelie, away from the lights outside Woolworths in Gravesend High Street. The assorted teenage lowlife population are well impressed but the policeman that jumps out in the road outside Tesco is less so Got off with that one as claimed wasnt used to the power of this brand new bike and girlfriend on back claimed she had told me to hurry up as she was desperate for the loo. Thought I was forgiven thereafter but wasnt hence I was single when I put the Laser on the bike 500 miles later.
Anyway, picture the scene; Summer's day, two scantily clad little spunkers watching me as I jetwash my nearly new bike. Joe Cool me, so I tuck my gloves inside my jacket and forget to put them on when I ride the bike away from my jetwash but through the soap suds of the other jetwashes. I dont notice as I am watching these desperate bitches watching me. Give it a big handfull so the Laser can make their knickers fall down. Instead the bike goes about 200 yards sideways down the road and I go 200 ft straight up in the air. Girls laughter ringing in my ears I remeber I have no gloves on so I put one hand on the other so only one palm gets abraded to fook sliding down the road. One knee also cops it, I find out when I try to run after my bike but find my leg doesnt bend very well. I get to the bike eventually and manage to ride it home despite the bent handlebar and broken levers. My dad takes me to casualty, I have heard they charge for treatment to RTA's so I tell them I fell over jogging. The Dr looks at my wrist and ankle bones glistening in the sun light and comments I must jog pretty fast.

Enough preamble, so several months later and still single I start stalking this identical twin.

She was gorgeous, always will be in my memory. 18 years old and a dancer She was going out with a riding mate of mine, Paul but he was 18 too, had been with her since they were 15 and didnt realise what he had. Anyway she and her sister had to go work in Mexico for 6 months to get an equity card. He, encouraged by me, never bothered to write. I wrote weekly so on her return Paul was dumped and I was in (not in enough to get a shag, mind you just a long kiss goodnight and an erection that lasted 3 days )

So, every evening I would rev the tits of my bike as I passed her house. Then phone her when I got home to make sure she heard me Except one night when her mum and dad are reversing out of their drive as I approach at warp speed 6. I swerve around them but it is icy so my bike is soon skating straight down the road again. Whereas I bounce off a grass verge into the side of an oncoming bus, back up the verge, back into the bus, finally wind up in someone's front garden. I am pretty much unscathed, except all the coinage in my jeans pocket is either spilled all over the road or embedded in my leg..... Oh and her mum is having hysterics and whacking me around the lid (turns out she thinks I am Paul trying to end it all) apparently Paul has made a few suicide threats after getting dumped

Tried hard to get the relationship back on track after that but it was doomed (as doomed as my no claims bonus) Never did get a shag. It is one of my great regrets in life.... along with the 14 million other women who wouldnt let me shag them

Nice to Know. Some are just as daft as me.

Another personal tale. If you care?
It's 1990 and I have an FZR 600R.
On my way to work for a 12hr Doubletime shift. I am tooting down the road for this first lucrative shift and I flick the bike round a roundabout to take me under the railbridge and up the hill too hit a 1/2 mile straight.
As I exit the roundabout. I am confronted by a stack of cars containing many of my workmates in various modes of stupor. All on their way for the same shift.I decide to wake them up with the scream of my Micron pipe. I whack the bike open and overtake the 5 or 6 cars meandering up the hill. As I pass the last one at 3 figure speed, the crest of the hill looms. Front lifts and comes crashing down on a catseye, inducing an almighty tankslapper. I get catupulted off bike onto the verge and with the combination of "Sky/Ground/Sky/Ground. I of course try to stand up to coolly jog to a halt. Not realising I am still travelling a lot faster than any human can run. Anyways I eventualy come to a halt and pick myself up. It's at this point. I have to add that I am carrying a backpack. It is crammed full of goodies to share amongst my workmates.(WE took turns each day to bring in treats. Mine consisted of 1/2 Doz. Fudge doughnuts and 6 cartons of Ribena.) It would be fair to say that this combination. Did not survive the journey to well.
This was only brought home me, when the cars that I had overtaken, parked up and all the occupants got out to ask of my wellbeing. One particular driver almost fainted at the sight of "The blood and Yuck running down the back of my legs." I was oblivious as to what the fuss was. (Adrenalin rush.)
Anyways after all workmates had had a laugh, at what they had just witnessed and seeing I was alright, they went on their way on the daily trundle. I was left with one concerned woman. Who just so happened to have a mobile phone.(Full brick, with an ariel ).
It was whilst she was trudging up and down the verge. Trying to get a signal to phone her husband. (Who had a Range Rover. That would apparently accomodate me and my bike. In the back seat )
I decided to have a cigarette. My Fags were in my jacket pocket. I got out the pack of B+H and picked one out. I took my gloves off and reached to my back pocket of my Wranglers to get my lighter. My hand went through the top of the pocket and came out to fresh air. I felt around a bit and realised that the back righthand side of my jeans were in tatters.
It would appear that the intial impact of my arse to ground/road had caused my "Clipper" to ignite and blew the backside out my denims
If it hadn't been for the fact that I was wearing a set of leather jeans under my denims(Yeh that's how it went back then.)I am sure I would be bearing the scars still today.

Anyways as I waited fagless. My "Samaritan" Eventually reached her husband and he gave me a lift home. Where I phoned the dealers to pickup my bike. I forgot i'd left it, a 1/4 mile down the road from where I had come to rest and had ground the sidecasing down to an oil releasing big hole.
I still made it into work. and got my FZR fixed. But it was written off within 6 months. So forward to another. "True Life" story. (That contains romance. )

16 years old and on a Yamaha RD50, hotted up but on 40km/h moped plates and license. At the end of winter and nice cool Saturday with sunshine. Due to being skint as usual been prodding around below the limit as no money for petrol. Today lucky day as just been given some cash and filled the beast up to the brim. Nail it away from the petrol station and feeling like Barry Sheene flat out along a main road 90km/h.
Suddenly blue flashing lights and the plod behind me in a ford van. In a moment of brain clouded by teenage springtime hormones I figured out that the van’s top speed is about the same as my steed, so decide to go for the dukes of hazard escape....
Indicator to the left but turn right etc... Closing up to a neighbourhood which I know very well. Knowing there is a soccer field with a narrow entrance and it borders at the back to a small river with a one person narrow concrete bridge across. If I can make it over there that will made the van needing to back track for a 10 min drive to the other side. By that time I will be at home bike parked in the garage drinking cola in front of the TV...haha poor plod...
Full bore in to the entrance, skidding and sliding across the wet footy field to have the surprise that the poor soccer club finally found the money to close of the back of the field with a giant net on poles to prevent their balls ending up in the drink....Sh&t comes to mind...
Do a U turn on the grass and back track to the entrance in the hope the coppers gave up or carried on to block me on the other side, no such chance as suddenly one of them jumps from behind the gate and grabs my keys, chase over. Bugger...Coppers take the yammie in the van and I get interviewed and lectured and can walk the rest of the way home and explain to the folks what happened.
Next day is Carnival and where I’m from it is pretty big, like second to Rio big for a small town. 6am on Sunday still in the sack but the doorbell rings WTF???? The 2 coppers are there to return my bike basically with their hands out for a carnival bonus. The old man is stubborn as hell and want nothing to do with this, the $20 I have in my pocket will hardly make things go away so we plead ignorance. Couple of days later the papers arrive with a $120 fine for speeding, refusing to stop, riding an unlicensed vehicle and so on. Also need to go to court and cop 15 days loss of licence which comes back to haunt me a year or so later when I try to apply for a learned licence for a car. Anyone who last their licence before the apply for one needs to do driving school, cost $1200.

On the day of my bike test (full licence) I dropped the CB500 I was using as I parked up for lunch with the instructor. 30 mins later I did the test and passed. (It was my 2nd attempt as I failed on hesitation). How I laugh now...

There have been a few but here's just 3, honda ss50 carpark couple of my older mates in car with 2 girls, I'll pull masive wheelie impress girls, massive wheelie feet dragging behind front wheel lands on my other mates fs1e yamaha parked beside mates car then lands on car ,was'nt to popular with mates that day! kick starting kawa kh250 outside house,wouldna start after much kicking bike starts to fall over I was'nt fit to hold it up (knackerd) just jump clear and let her fall,honda superdream bought after blowing up kh250 outside mates garage boys all asking to see wheelie,loads of revs dump clutch, rear sprocket rips out of back wheel!! loads of laughter from mates!!, still shite at wheelis yet

About 25 years ago on the XL250, I had decided to do one of my "redline-burn-out-takeoffs". Didn't take into consideration the extra weight of my buddy sitting on the back. Instead of the usual take off with spinning wheel throwing dirt, the trials tyre grabbed, the bike shot out from under us and flipped around the handlebars so that it was extended from my arms several feet in the air, upside down, front fender at my head. Buddy found himself laying on his back in the road. I had to bring it down on it's side. Was embarrassing as the gang were there to witness the fail.

You would think that that would be the last time buddy would get on the back of my bike but it wasn't. He had a few more experiences on the back, I can recall his screams as the back tyre would drop into the ditch as we drifted wide through the corners on the old dirt roads. That bike took a serious beating and was blown up three times from my abuse. The last time it blew, I rolled it into the ditch and left it there.

Two up on 70cc Yam short cutting through gravel pit to find out too late that a section of road 5 feet deep the width of a bulldozer was missing. Forks bent back, handlebars forward but no serious injuries other than bruised egos.
More often lucky than not back then.

Just been thinking back through my bike/accident history and realised I have an approximate 15% new first week bike crash ratio!

First one was a brand new zx9r on a bone dry roundabout, lost the front on cold tyres, smashed top fairing, indicators and levers. Didn't have time to fit any r&g's before that. I reckon that was about £400

Second was on my Superduke, took it to Castle Combe and lost the front on a left hander due to incorrect tyre pressures. That was new r&g's, levers, shift rod assembly, painted and repaired panels. Total bill about £600

Third was on my RC8 at Cadwell, bike locked due to unknown and as yet undiagnosed fault. That was a cheap-ish repair total about £100.

All in the first week of ownership

A long time ago I was 17 and had a Kawasaki GPZ550.

So going round a sharp left hand 90 degree bend with a mate on the back I decked out the centre stand (remember those?) hard enough to lever the back wheel off the ground with the obvious and immediate effect.

The crash damage took me a month or so to fix as I was broke and hopeless but eventually one Sunday it was ready to go. I had borrowed some tools from a mate who lived in a village up the road so first trip was to him to return them. Quick 5 mile blast, he was out so dropped off the tools, turned round and back home.

On the way home approaching a junction I looked right to see it was clear. This was a junction with great visibility and an oblique join so you didn’t slow down much if nothing was coming and you were turning left. Nothing was coming so I accelerated from the about 60 ish I was going, looked forward and then noticed that the car in front have stopped! Don’t think I even had time to brake before I slammed into the back of thee ford Capri.

Luckily this was quite a low car, my bike embedded into the back and I flew over the car landing some way down the road I was trying to join.

So crash, take a month to repair, ride less than ten miles, crash again on first ride, nearly write off the car and total the bike.

Epic, I have done many stupid things but I think this is my best total fail. What a twat!

Nice new Hyabusa. Pull up at petrol pumps and put down side stand - or so I think. In fact, I didn't kick it out far enough and the bloody thing sprung back, as I quickly learn as I dismount. Hyabusa and myself hit the deck like a sack of doorknobs. I sprawl on the floor like beetle on its back etc.
Anyway, get up, pull the Busa back up, put the stand down properly and fill up. Go to pay. Come back ride off.
However, I've not noticed the fall has mangled the scotoiler tube and its vomited the entire contents of the reservoir over the back wheel. Low friction hilarity ensues as I pull away, spin it up, loose control and bin it again before I'm off the forecourt.....Dismal.

OK here goes an early one to start off

17 years old got my first 250 a mint 76 Yamaha RD250B, had it about 6 months decided i needed more power, got hold of a Terry Shepperd tuned RD350B top end, primary gears and oil pump off a mate who proddy raced, spent the Saturday fitting the top end etc, got the jetting about spot on with a YR5 air filter, went like stink, power wheelies everywhere, creamed my mates older brother on his Honda CB750F1 that night, I had 125mph on the speedo

Sunday morning decided on a strip down and a good wash and polish, finished after lunch the bike looked like new, put my gear on for a blast down the road before putting the bike to bed, warmed it up on the side stand jumped on and took of down the road (country lane) on the back wheel, three nice left hand bends then a short straight before a right kink over a slightly hump back bridge, bike is flying............... nailed it out of the last bend down towards the bridge, glance down to see over 90mph on the speedo, hit the bridge BANG! I am in the air flyng over the bridge parapet and into a ditch, I climb out of the muddy water filthy, dripping but unhurt, the bike is in pieces strewn for must be 100 yards down the road (the bike had slammed into the brick bridge parapet) my father who was in the garden when I left home came running down the road, he had listened to the bike screaming and then suddenly stop dead, we collected up the bits and cleared the road........ the bike was totalled

Moral of the story...... Always check your side stand is up

Riding through a local hot spot with hot girls and hot clubs. Goto stop at the light and my shoe lace loop got caught on the rear brake lever. Couldn't get my foot down in time and over a went at dead stop in front of a group of hotties look for a ride. Very embarrassing. let's say they didn't want a ride after that.

Leaving work, it's a cold day. For some reason I vary my getaway routine slightly and don't leave the bike idling quite as long as normal. Carefully paddle bike out of parking space into courtyard with a bush in the middle. Courtyard is surrounded on three sides by work premises, co-workers are still inside.

Let the clutch out, bike stalls at 0mph, we fall together like doomed lovers into the bush. People inside probably laugh at me, luckily no damage to the SD.

A few weeks before that, just after I got the SD in winter '09 we had snow all over the place in the UK. It was sitting in the garage taunting me, unrideable because of the fooking snow. After nearly three weeks of waiting for a clear day, finally the roads look clear, so off we go on the inaugural commute. I froze, but I didn't care, it was one of the first rides I'd had since my previous bike got nicked and it was brilliant...until I got to the public car park just before work. All the A-roads were cleared but nobody had bothered with this car park, so there was a very thin dusting of snow. I went for a corner, started to slide, ran out of lock and down I went at about 8mph. R&G took care of most of it, but I still ended up with a nice big scuff on the clutch cover (now hidden under more crash protection), and I had the privilege of finishing one of my first rides on the SD by walking it the rest of the way and parking it up.

OK.

After my previous post. of my FZR foray. I have to now post of the ultimate consequence.

It's 1990 I have my FZR fixed and I am at college trying for an HNC in engineering.

In my class, is a 16yr old female student.(Good Lord! What is the World coming to? Engineering/Female )
Anyways TMM. She is Hottt.
Unbeknownst to me. She likes my Body/hairstyle/motorcycle and lairy tales, that I have enthralled her with, over our meal breaks.
I invite her for a Blast to a track near me?
She says. Yeh!
So I pick her up and go to "The Local Track". (A place I have no interest in but is 3 miles up the road from where I live.)
We arrive at destination and I enthuse about "The Scene"
She is Sooo.. Bored.
She and I. Have to suggest we leave.

So we go. Just as the rain comes on and spatters the for 6 weeks dry, roads, with just a thin film of moisture.

I inform my pillion that there is a "Particular bend", we have to look out for.
I blast off down the road. With this nubile young Princess. Mitts clasped firmly to my waist. Doing just as instructed.
We encounter a few bends which the FZR shrugs off as expected. We encounter "The Harley Crowd". Which have Fecked off early . Least their chrome becomes unstable.

Soo. We eventually come to "The Bend" (Its an uphill tightening, left hander.) I shout "This is it! Lean over".
My pillion does but the sound of pegs scraping and no more traction. Spells "DOOM".
We have a Lowside.
Bike hits wall and I stand up.

I get my bearings.
I am in the middle of a road. Dressed in bike gear. With no bike to be seen?
Mmmm...?
I enquire to myself about my wherewithall?

The" Harley Crowd". Eventually turn up.

They find my bike balancing on a wall.
20 metres and 90 degrees from where I had lost it.(Balancing on a wall. Whao! That looks cool.)

Oh yes! There is my pillion, wimpering/Hanging upside down. A couple of metres up a tree. With a branch impaled through her right leg.

Them "Harley boys" arrange the Emergancy Services. (Whilst commenting on. The various tactics, I had used on circumventing their, obviously slow progress )

And so my pillion is extracated from tree and her and I are eventualy transported to the Local Hospital.

(The Local Constabulary had also turned. And have gave me some advice. Yeh! "You could drive this Bike home. ( What!! With its fooked front wheel, two punctures. Broken forks and swingarm")

I bow to the inevitable.(And of course, to the previous ridiculous statement from The Police officer.)

Once at the Hospital. My pillion and I, are separated and are moved to individual cubicles.

Our outer clothing is cut off.(My girl is jeanless.And so another story unfolds. Not for this Forum atmo.)

General "Chit Chat" amongst nurses ensues.

I can hear of what's going on next door.

Nurse asks pillion. :"You were lucky" . "Do you know the rider?". Answer. "Yes".

Nurse: "Is he your boyfriend/Do you love/Trust him?"

"Nubile young 17 year old pillion" answers. "Yes!"

I? (Jesus christ! I am 31! and nearly killed her.WTF!!!)


Upshot is..... We have now been married. For 19 years with a 12 year old son . My pillion and I. Still get on with my previous wife of two sons.

Hit me! Hit me! Hit me with your rythm stick.

And so... Ahhh yes! KTM? They only appear 8 years later in my life and are kindof like.........

.... A Box of chocolates.

Cest la vie?

this is a great thread!!!
i have wayyyyyyy too many incidents but ill relinquish this one gem. 2 years ago im in New England visiting my bro. i had brought my SD in the back of my truck.
well it was an awfull week, couldnt hang with my bro as he had some jobs he couldn refuse, it rained all week and there was the f*****g looser NE drivers to contend with. at the end of the week, im so ready to get back home to Virginia. i have a 4x4 Tacoma that sits pretty high and a single ramp, im tired but ive done this a million times.... my bro has a 8 ft plank so i put this alongside the ramp and decide to clutch the SD up the ramp. its all going fine and the front wheel is in the truck and im beside it at the about to step into the bed when the board im standing on slides out from under me.
i fall off, or rather jump because the SD is coming after me. i land clear tuck and roll, the SD falls over, hits the side of the bed, starts to slide down the ramp and falls off it right onto my brother's driveway, sickening thud. engine cutoff my ass, i bend over shut the poor thing off. damage report: broke CRG mirror, bent left footpeg bracket broken shift lever. now i have to take the humiliating walk to his neighbor and tell him what happened and ask for him to help me load the wounded SD (couldnt have done that in the first place now could i???? &%^$#$^#@!!!). he finds it quite amusing as he has seen my brother do countless embarassing things being his neighbor, like when he got tangled in their leash running with his dogs and fell right in front of him scraping both his knees though his jeans, and he proceeds to relate them to me!
to this day the tailgate doesnt close properly, sigh...

Not Epic really, but as I'm a fussy bugger who likes to look after his stuff, this just about did my head in for sheer stupidity.

Last December, arrived home from one of my first few rides on my new SD. Waited for the garage door to open up, then got ready to ride up my steep driveway (driveway is steep enough that I can bleed the air out of the radiator on it).

Dumb arse here forgets the bike is in 2nd and stalls it half way up. Bike leans over to the right at what would have been an impressive angle around a corner, but instead just falls over on to my right foot. Faaaaaarrrrk!

At least my broken right foot stopped the exhaust from being scratched. Neighbour comes over and gives me a hand getting the bike off my foot and standing it up.

Result: Slighty bent front brake lever, scuffed bar end and scuffed clutch cover. 6 weeks no riding or driving. Son of a Biatch!

This is the second moto I've had since my brain tumor in 2006. It's definitely more of a challenge to ride than the 696monster, but so much more fun. Even though my balance is stuffed, and I walk like I'm drunk, once I get rolling the SD is awesome!